here i stand before me

Well, I'm finally back. It's been almost a month since my previous host decided to make some management decisions affecting my blogging ability, so they have been left in the dust, and rightly so. I also changed registrars, FWIW, because I found Itsyourdomain.com had many complaints against them, and I didn't feel like having to potentially deal with any of that when renewal time came around (which is soon). So I'm now hosted by pluginspace.com and registrared through godaddy.com, both of whom I'm very impressed with thusfar.

Enough of that. I would hope that that's not why you're here. Ah yes, me. After all, what good is a blog if it is not self-serving with a delicate aftertaste of egotism? Many, many things have happened since my last entry, some good, some bad, all....um....enlightening. :)

My scooter broke down and was fixed. My heart was fixed and then broken. My Chinese has come in both handy and inspiring packages, inspiring me to continue them, though in a much less demanding formation (two hours a day for five days a week is hard when those two hours begin at the desperately early time of eight bells. And yes eight o'clock is early when you're up to two the night before surfing the stupid internet), my oldest friend in the world got engaged, I got sick, I had my first hot pot (a kind of soup that you cook meat and vegetables in to eat, leaving you with a delicious soup at the end), which I ordered in Chinese (I didn't understand her at all, but she understood me. Half way there!), and today one of my best friends out here is leaving for a little while and I had my first penis chocolate. I saw the Lantern Festival in Kaohsiung (including the best fireworks I have seen here yet on the last day), the Birth of the Gods festival (which was HUGE), stacks and stacks of ghost money bought for good luck (I'm taking 8 feet tall at the top over a pile that was about 6 feet by 15 feet. Times two. Now that's a lot of luck!), and I bought a road bike (Giant assembles their bikes out here, so they're dirt cheap) for some exercise so that I don't feel as much like a giant fat ass as I have been.

There is much to write on, but I've just done a marathon ten hour designing session, and writing coherently isn't much of an option right now. The teaching is still fine, I have to say it's great to have a job where you can get only minimal sleep and still not feel tired at work because you're on your feet the whole time.

I'll catch you on the other side of a short nap.

so i was at supper and i started writing

I watched the leaf lazily fall through the chilly autumn air as I waitedsilently. It took an unusually long time to get the job done, its descent hindered by the gusty breezes lustily grabbing at it.

It was a good thing that this was always my last appointment - she was late. Again. This would be the fourth time. She also paid the most, which was why I didn't mind her latelness that much, but now and then it raised my ire. Why did those who have always thing that their time was somehow worth more than those who did not have as much as they did? I found it rude, but I also found it best to keep my opinions to myself.

My ponderings on manners and societal considerations were lost in the breeze as I spotted her making her way to me. Though I could never tell anyone, I always enjoyed making her meet me here. Her awkward balance of disdain, discomfort, disgust, and fear was an entertaining weekly featurette to me, a special treat that I enjoyed every time I watched it play out.

She separated herself from the faceless mass, looking like she had tasted southing foul as she pulled her gloves off. She did it just like I always though rich women would what with the influence movies had help over my life as a child, many years (and yet, not so long) ago. Pulling delicately on each finger to loosen its grip on the digits underneath, she would then gently draw the glove off, removing her hand from its confines. "I don't know why we have to meet here every time," she commented, surveilling the square down her nose. "It's crowded, it's dirty, it's..."

"..the perfect place for us to start your lesson each day," I finished. "Besides, winter's going to be here soon, and I, for one, woul dlike to suck as much enjoyment out of every last day that I possibly can before the first storm hits and I'm stuck inside, going stir-crazy." I motioned for her to sit, and after receiving the usual look of something halfway between disbelief and scorn, I rose and moved my hand to the small of her back. "Admit it. You love coming here."

"Ha!" she snorted derisively. "Couldn't imagine a better spot."

"Fine," I ceded. "Let's get outta here. Where do you want to go today?"

"Mmm, the elevator at the John Hudson has piqued my interest as of late. I'd like to...check it out," she replied with a hint of a grin. Her face definitely looked better with that little bit of a shine, the one she hid behind the mask so often.

And so, with a meek deference of, "Whatever suits you, ma'am," I prepared myself for another tramp, mimicking the leaf in its descent, although today, my descent would seem to be found in ascension.

teething youngsters

"Teacher, what does 'fuck' mean?"

Well, I finally got it for the first time. Not just spelled out, either. (OK, I had had something like it before, but it was older kids and they cautiously spelled the words out.) No, their enunciation was perfect. And they knew it was bad.

"Oh, I just hear my mom and dad say it and they don't think I hear but I do and it's bad."

Yeah. Great. Well, I did all I could do.

Yup, it's a bad word. Nope, don't use it in my classroom. Yup, you can bet that the axe will fall if you test it, and it will fall hard. Hell, I heard my parents curse when I was a kid. And I want to keep that rebellious fire burning - they aren't going to have that flame fanned anywhere else out here, that's for sure.

If they're going to bite the hand that feeds them, they've got to have some teeth.

*sigh* Eight-year-olds can be so cute sometimes.

hegemony unto me

Rick Salutin has a great column this week (which I picked up from rabble) about the current scandal in Canadian politics (it even made the top story in the World page one day here in Taiwan!*) A good read, it disects one possible reason this has happened in this day and age:

The human political impulse will not go away. But it survived, under the cutback scenarios that prevailed, mainly as drama or entertainment. It turned symbolic. You cared about what happened, as you do watching a movie. You felt involved, but not directly touched. The main satisfactions government could provide were essentially psychic: the thrill, say, of voting out the villains, as you saw them.

This fits with a saying I heard once, a long time ago (can't find it anywhere now): "In America, if they don't like their politicians, they shoot them. In Canada, we make fun of them." Not so much for the American part (this isn't an American slam here, I just wanted to use the quote), but for the Canadian part. Canadian political comedy is some of the best in the world, I think, because that's all we have to talk about. Well, that and curling. ;) Canadians, just like people all over the world, are feeling more and more disillusioned with disjointed political system. I know my vote in the last Ontario election was set against the Tories - I wanted the bad guys out.

The ideal political situation is two (or more) idealists leading a party that supports their particular brand of government. They present their ideas to their people, who evaluate where their society is and where they want it to go, and vote with the party that is the most in line with those decisions. It seems to me to have been a reward system with the best man winning the day and setting out to make a better life for his or her citizens (don't worry, my glasses aren't that rosy). Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Today it is more of a punishment system/settling with the best of the worst. The last Canadian federal election, it was vote for the Liberals or vote for something slightly chaotic, slightly askew, and slightly scary. Even in the U.S., this fall it's coming down to vote Bush or not vote Bush. That's how I see it, that's how the Democrats have even started to label themselves.

And it's only going to get worse. Our youth (my generation and those around me) were raised, as Mr. Salutin points out, are "products of the Mulroney-Chrétien-Martin era, a 20-year public retreat." He continues:

Many have large loans; they know that if a family member enters hospital, an advocate must go along. Their school years were probably strike-filled, with after-school activities cancelled. The public sector has not seemed to care.

Oh, and you can add Devine to that if you grew up in Saskatchewan, one of the most corrupt governments in Canadian history. These people aren't voting, they aren't getting involved, they are returning exactly as much warmth and love as the government has showed for them thusfar.

But what happens when these people grow up? Will they grow into leadership? Or will we have a continuing string of incidents like Paul Martin Sr. (who was a nice man, with his sense of noblesse obligé) begetting Paul Martin Jr. (who does not seem to share the obligé from what we have seen), continuing on down the line until we can't tell the 'good' guys from the bad? Or have we already reached that point?

I hope not.

*Which is big, especially when you consider that the English paper has front page headlines like "Japan 'has no balls,' Lee says" - the ex-president! What news! I'll take exciting headlines like that anyday!

office space

Why is the office such a popular place for sex films?

You try and Kazaa a few episodes of The Office, you know, to see what all the hype is about. Instead, you get an education in office sex culture.

Really, though, how comfortable can sex on a desk be?

Not very, let me tell you.

learn something new

I love the Discovery Channel. Do you know why manholes were created? I do. (When Edison built the first power station, they ran wires under the streets. However, they were uncovered at places where they were inserted. The day the creators flipped the master switch for the first time, it happened to be raining. They quickly found out that someone had driven a stake into the cable at one point, and it was actually 'leaking' electricity. A horse was shocked, and as people gathered around to see, they were shocked too. Edison's company eventually created manholes to cover the cables so that that would not happen again.

Did you know that camels can drink up to 200 litres of water in three minutes? (They have oval-shaped blood cells, allowing them to swell without exploding. A human would literally explode if he/she drank that amount of water that quickly.)

And lastly, were you aware that there is a giant ship being built called the Freedom Ship, a giant 'City at Sea' (according to the web site)? It will be a giant 4500 foot barge with a 350 foot building on the top that will travel the globe every two years.

Go figure.

a valentine equation

Two (2) valentine songs sent from close to 12,000 km away
+ One hope hopeful boy
+ February fourteenth (14th)
Dumped!

Well, you can actually only be sorta dumped from a sorta relationship. We had only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. And I did force the issue - she would've had the tact to avoid it on that oh-so-commercialized of days*.

Still, if girls don't want world-record singing valentines and chocolates anymore, I'm fresh out of ideas.

*In China, they have their own Valentines Day - February 14th is only a minor celebration here. It was hard to find stuff at the store for it. The seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar (which seems to be August 22nd this year) is Chinese Valentines Day. I first called it Love Day (after the Simpsons episode - it seemed perfect - a festival right in the middle of summer talking about love? Ha!), but then found out that, like the Western Valentines Day, it has a story behind it. I think I like this one just as much, if not more.

(Yeah, I know it's late, but give me a break, I just got this hunk 'o' junk running last weekend!)

As a discussion point, I want to know if anyone knows the correct grammar regarding this particular celebration. Here's my two cents:

St. Valentine's' Day
Valentines Day
I am going to give him a valentine.
We love eating valentine chocolates.
Will you be my valentine?

Correct usage? Is there a guide to this? Believe me, you're aware of these things when you start teaching English. Well, and are a language nerd. (Have you ever pondered the history of grammar as a concept?)

growing up

It's been lamented billions of times, commented on many more, and now it's coming round these parts.

Everyone's growing up.

My oldest friend (we were literally born next to each other) is finishing her medicine degree and has gotten engaged. My first ex from university is also engaged. Friends are buying houses, settling in, creating roots and memories. I can feel more engagements coming on. My roommates, God bless them, are in bed nice and early every evening (one is almost 2 years younger than me! And I've never been a real party guy...). Even online - dooce just had her kid, Matthew brought The Squirrely Prince into this world (or rather sat and watched and didn't do crack as his wife did all the work), Ariel just got engaged, causing Emily to ponder her situation (I love Emily, she's one of the smartest bloggers I know. Well, know of, I guess), Brittney's lamenting getting old (and she's less than a year older than be, for Chrissakes) Mimi Smartypants has her little (adorable) Nora....

I just feel like I'm shucking all that responsibility right now, being out here. Responsibility, yes, but also potential. I feel a little torn - I'm doing cool stuff, but I'm missing out on something else somewhere else.

Hmm. I guess I just want too much out of life. Incidentally, that's why I like blogs. They're a way to experience something I never will in some place I may never go. So keep writing - you're doing it as much for me as you are for you!

creative writing

A selection of my oldest students' writing (corrected, but the ideas are all theirs). They are writing a short dialogue between two characters - one visited the other in India in the story. Love seems to still be in the air...

Jimmy: I love you. You are as beautiful as a flower.
Nali: I love you too because you are as cool as ice.
Then they kiss.

Jimmy: Do you want to be my girlfriend?
Nali: I.....I don't know. My father might not agree.
Jimmy: I say you should not listen to your father.
Nali: I will be your girlfriend!

Jimmy: Oh, hi Nali. I am very handsome, will you be my valentine?
Nali: Er...sorry, I have a boyfriend already. He is very smart and handsome.
Jimmy: No! I am cursed!

Jimmy: Oh! Ronnie ate my homework!
Nali: What? Who's Ronnie?
Jimmy: He is my brother.
...
Jimmy: I.......love you.
Nali (crying): I love you too.
Jimmy: Bye bye my sweet!

I haven't yet taught them about copyright...

one for the books

To start, if you don't recall, Tawainese (and, from what I'm told) Asian traffic is the epitome of chaos theory. People drive how they want, traffic laws are often suggestions, cops aren't exactly as coppy as they are in North America. Once you're used to the chaos and can accept it, it's not so bad.

That being said, I sit here typing with a broken collarbone and a cracked rib, amongst a few scrapes. Yes, I had my first scooter accident.

The thing is, it wasn't even from crazy driving - someone just clipped me as I was passing them. As with most everything else here, things worked out - the school's co-director came and argued my case with the police, I lied through my teeth about some things (which I only feel faintly guilty about - I really was intending to get my license this week. Oh, irony, you are a bitter mistress.

All in all, though, it was a neat experience. On health care, I went from accident to getting home in about three hours - bones re-set, wounds cleaned, drugs gotten, police argued with, etc. When I was 16 and cracked my head open, I laid in the (empty) emergency room for at least 3/4 of an hour in shock before they even looked at me. The doctors were very friendly, to-the-point, and one spoke almost perfect English. It also helped that the other guy was really friendly - he ended up paying all of my hospital costs.

The police were an interesting matter. It was a good thing Terry was there - his Chinese is about as good as a non-native's can get. He argued my case, explained what had happened repeatedly until the cops got it. But how many foreigners get to talk to the foreign police?

In the end, it wasn't so bad. Bones heal, my head's fine (I was wearing a full helmet, which I will now swear by), and I can serve as an example to future teachers. Plus, I've given the managers some new experience - a new teacher without a license and a broken body was something new to them.

Maybe it is time to slow down a little bit. Though a little thing like a broken collarbone won't make me break two dates with beautiful women the next day! (Note: dates were completed successfully ;))