what's going on? who cares! there's fireworks

The other night, after returning home from work, I was intending to get some sleep (getting to bed before 2 AM, my new regular bedding down time), and was wrapping things up when I heard a series of explosions. I realized that I had been hearing them since I got home, every 15-20 minutes or so. At first, I dismissed it as typical Taiwanese noise. Honestly, you'll hear weird stuff often. But you know, you never find out an answer if you don't ask, so I grabbed my camera and headed down to find the answer.

The answer, as it turned out, appeared to be some kind of temple/religious celebration (a question posed at work the next day was met with blank faces). Fireworks were being consumed voraciously (think of numbers in the thousands. Really, if they're setting off 5-7 minute sets, with hundreds per minute, this is not so unimaginable. Especially when I heard 4 sets, and it's entirely possible it had been going on before I arrived home), and people were gathered around, covering their ears due to the intense noise (I joined it. When in Taiwan....um....cover your ears!)

I followed the parade along for a while, taking pictures. You can see what I saw! There's also some movie clips for your enjoyment (QT required.

Movie #1 - The fireworks (4.1 MB - careful, it's LOUD)

Movie #2 - The parade (12.0 MB - it's a little shaky, sorry. Also, loud.)

Now, this was late. The fireworks ended around 11:30 p.m., and I left the paradegoers (there were quite a few less than in the second movie, basically just the truck and the people carrying the whatever and two or three dozen others) just before 12:30 a.m. Still! Can you imagine fireworks and a parade with music on a Wednesday night? Neither could I, before this. Welcome to Taiwan, here's your weird time schedule.

There's more to this, but that lies in another entry. Stay tuned.

reason #39684 why i'm loving it here

I drank with a Croation ship's master last night. Aaaand now I have a place to stay in Croatia. What a random meeting, just because we're white, fer chrissakes. A cauldron of wisdom, he accepted the invitation because he's come to realize that you have to take those chances, as they are what make life more than work-eat-sleep-baby making.

And as I spoke with him, I marveled at what this represented to me: chances, connections that I never imagined ever making, or to even be possible. From laughing uproariously (him:"Two children is only just barely enough for me. Three would be great. Third would be much easier." friend:"Well, I come from a family of seven. Seven." him:" OK, seven, that is too much.") to having deep, serious discussions ("We take more than we use. Why?") to talking about travel (The man has been entirely around the world twice, and been on every continent), to ruminations on parenting, it was truly an enviable experience, one that makes me want to have more and more and more. Though, in retrospect, not enough pirate questions were asked by me. Well, I have his email.

Yar.

because i promised

My friend Rebecca wore shorts this weekend for the first time in six years.

Because, you know, what's a blog for, if not for announcing random, inconsequential (but not to her, let me tell you) facts. (If she had a blog, it'd be there, but she doesn't and I do. It's all about the giving, folks.)

R.I.P. Albatross

Bei tuo le.

That roughly means 'stolen' in Chinese (I think).

After I had appreciated the fireworks and parade participants about as much as I could, I headed back to get my scooter and retire for the night. I couldn't remember exactly where I had parked, but I though, hey, no problem, I just parked near the light under the Chinese sign.

Uh huh. Well, anyway, I ended up walking the whole street, then realized where I was. Hrm. Well, I ended up walking the street three times before coming to terms that my scooter was as far gone as a foreigner at Honky Tonk's on a Saturday night. Luckily, I have wonderful roommates, one of which who came out and picked me up and looked around a bit more.

But was this the end? No! The next morning, I was told at the police station that I could not in fact report it stolen, as it was not in my name. And the girl who's name it was in? Couldn't make it down this week - her boyfriend was in from Amsterdam, and she works the craziest schedule I've ever heard of Taiwan. (Some might say she's really inconsiderate, maybe she is, but I have my own share of blame for leaving things until it's too late, a chronic condition with me.)

Switch the name on the scooter? Ha, fate, you have one leg up on me again! Because my scooter is (was) more than ten years old, the DMV* needed to inspect it before they could change it.

Them: Where's your scooter?
Me: Uhhhh.....not here.
Them: How did you get here?
Me: I....did not drive that scooter.

*As a final kick to the teeth, they told me that my chop was wrong. I just started laughing and didn't stop until I was on my scooter, driving away. Honestly, I was just waiting for them to add, "Oh, and you're ugly too."

And the girl still could not make it to the police station. So I am/was fucked with a capital OUCH.

OK, despite the tone of this, I am not complaining, and I am not looking for pity. I thought all of this made for a wonderful story, exactly what a blog is for, and I promised to share all of my experiences with you, the good and the bad. I was thinking today, I have had enough experiences in five months (today) to write a "What To Do When Shit Hits the Fan in Kaohsiung" guide for all new teachers. Or maybe a what-not-to-do list. I had some good times on that scooter, definitely some memorable times, but all in all, its post-humous nickname couldn't be more fitting. I've had 25 years of wonderful luck, balance just needs to exert itself sometimes. And anyway, Scott provides an excellent example of perspective, just at the right time, putting everything in the right context. I've caught myself saying many times, "At least I still have my health." This time.

However, things have a way of working out here in Taiwan. The girl who couldn't make it to the police station in a timely fashion felt bad, so she is giving me her scooter, no strings attached, in ten weeks when she leaves. A good friend who had a small accident as soon as she rented her scooter gave it to me when she found out that mine had taken its leave. I'll be on vacation for two weeks of the waiting time. People have been helpful, supportive, and wonderful. Hopefully, this one won't take me for a ride through the gutter like Albatross did. I guess only time will tell.

R.I.P. Albatross.

benevolent dictator

I mean, I love my kids and all, and both of us enjoy it when I give them a little freedom - it gives them a small feeling of control and the feeling that I treat them as an equal, and it takes some pressure off of me and lets me be more friendly with them while letting me demostrate the minute advantages and disadvantages of democracy. I usually hold a vote when the results don't really matter (Which one will we do first? Which song do you want to sing today? Whose sentence is the craziest?) - like I said, the kids do appreciate it, and I enjoy it.

However, I must say that I do enjoy the fact that in the end, my classroom is a dictatorship. A belevolent one, yes, but I've told my kids before, in my classroom, my word is law (with exceptions. Determined by me.) There have been times when votes have not turned the expected result. Suddenly, results disappear. "What, you wanted to do grammar? Well, actually, teacher doesn't want to, so we're not. Nope. Sorry. Never a choice. Getting out your reader now, please turn to..." Small amounts of criticisms are allowed for show, but deeper problems are promptly silenced. "Today, kids, we're going to learn the term 'puppet government'."

And then there's the removal of even the sham of democracy. I've had kids request a vote, only to be remorselessly turned away. "Don't we get to choose?" "No." "But..." "OK, phonics." Remember how I spoke long ago of there always being a choice? NIMBY.

I do it for the kids. Really. Classroom power corrupts....educationally!

strive for it

Some of you may know that I am a perfectionist - have been since the beginning. I don't really have a problem with it - it motivates me, makes me get the job done, and done well. It's worked out pretty good for me. It's also costed me in various respects, or at least contributed to my demise in a couple of areas, sacrifices that, sometimes, in retrospect were not worth it at all. But, such is hindsight.

There are two things that frustrate me about my goal of the perfect whatever. The first is that I am also innately lazy, which, again, I have no big problem with, except for the fact that it flies in the face of my ambitions. Example: Sleeping in is wonderful - in fact, it's ingrained into the Kaohsiung foreigner lifestyle*. However, no matter how good I feel after waking up, I always feel that time has been wasted. If I get up early (ha ha, yeah, almost never happens), I feel that I'm working myself. Grrr. Fixing it? I know it's an easy fix, just like a smoker knows that they can quit.

The other, much more annoying about this habit (and yes, it is a bad one) is that I don't want to do something unless I have it down, and down well. A prime example is my Chinese. I love learning it, but I'm rather loathe to go out and use it. I know I should, and I know that the locals would love me to try rather than sounding like an ignorant foreigner trying to communicate through gestures, but I just can't. Frankly, I think that it will go wrong - I won't understand something they said (it's already happened every time I've tried), they can't understand me (occasionally), or something else.

Even my writing here is sometimes afflicted - I want to write my best, and I'd rather write nothing than do a sub-par job.

It's really frustrating, and for once, I'm at a loss. Being the way I am, I want to fix it, however, I know the fix will take work.

Time to make a choice, I guess.

cursed, yet wily foreigner: 1, wacky taiwanese driving test: 0.5

True or False: A motorcycle is light and convenient. When you are tired and sick, you can still ride it.

So I finally went for the elusive driving test this morning, after getting the eye exam and my scooter stolen. I borrowed my roommate's scooter, and was all good to go. A little bit of studying last night had me pumped (Accepting trafffic accident investigation is a riding virtue. True or False.).

The test itself was easy, boring, and sparse - not many people eager to be up early on a Monday morning, I suppose. You also must complete a basic driving test. It's nothing special - the first part is to drive down a straight line in a certain amount of time, the second is to take a curve, stopping at various kinds of traffic occurances. The straight line test was first. It's maybe 4 or 5 meters - no problem! I hit that thing running, held my line, and finished it in 4 seconds flat. I slowly came around, congratulating myself, a little bit excited that the alarm was going off. "My," I though. "I did really well, I guess."

Of course, getting back to the supervisor, I discovered that you had to take more than seven seconds, not less. Well that makes more sense. Oops.

Anyhoo, I stuffed the rest and am now one step closer to actually being legal here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to head back to bed, because this time does not actually exist on my personal clock.

True or False: Drinking alcohol affects your vision, hearing, and judgement. However you feel up to it, you may ride a motorcycle after drinking.

pay it homage

I recently flew through Pay It Forward - the original novel, which the movie was loosely based on, !and I use the term loosely, um, loosely. Wow, I'm loose tonight!

Anyway, it was a perfect pick-me up for the time, and honestly, I could really, really go for another one right now. This book really, really affected me. I read it in three sittings, mostly after 2 AM - I just couldn't put it down. The last time I picked it up, I was doing my regular planning session at school after work on Friday. Yeah, I sat at work and read this book on my own time - I needed to finish it that bad. And the effect it had on me... I bawled like a baby for the last thirty pages, having to put down the book numerous times, as I couldn't read any more due to the sobs racking my body. I haven't cried like that in ages, and I don't think ever from a book (from writing, yes, but not from a book). I've already paid my first deed forward (maybe we do live in a worse world than in the book, but you never know).

*WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR A FOUR YEAR OLD MOVIE AND A FIVE YEAR OLD BOOK AHEAD*

Now, for those of you who have seen the movie, I highly recommend the book. I hadn't seen the movie until this weekend, and to be honest, I wasn't a big fan of it. I may have been if I hadn't read the book before, and it's the classic 'doesn't-translate-well-between-mediums' situation, but this is one of the worst book-to-movie transitions I have seen. I think the problem is that the book just works everything out, and the movie keeps key parts with out retaining the explanation of why they happen, making them appear unbelievable. It takes an inspirational and wonderful example of good story-telling and an actual honest showcase of the good that the human spirit is sometimes capable of, and smears it with Hollywood manipulation, that feel-good candy that people eat up. When the movie came out way back when, there was quite the arguement on the IMDB boards for this movie between the people who enjoyed the movie and found it amazing and the people who actually read the book. I'll wait a moment while you go find out why here (if you've already seen the movie or read the book. If you haven't, well, you should do one of them [BOOK BOOK BOOK]). Go ahead. I've got a nice glass of wine.

See? The movie's ending is the complete opposite of the book. There were more minor things - I found Haley Joel Osment's character to come off way more brattish in the movie, he just doesn't have the innocent, idealistic charm that Trevor in teh book has. The teacher's character doesn't work nearly as well in the movie - he's a black war vet, for Chrissakes! I also found the portrayal of violence and alcoholism in both, and the differences between them, to be interesting and telling. In the book, there is much more about recovery and much less about violence, whereas in the movie, there's a lot more drinking/relapse and pure violence (the kid even likes wrestling in the movie vs. football in the book. Why'd they change that? A subtle nuance.) Also, no swears in the book, yes swears in the movie.

The point of all this is that I want to tell you to READ THIS BOOK. Seriously, even though it's fiction, it's an affective package of heart-break, eloquence, and poignancy (go thesaurus!). If it doesn't move you to perform any pay it forward-ness, that's fine, but as a notion of what's possible, it's as good a spark as anything.

On a rough tangent, I also read Tuesdays with Morrie, which is also a couple of years old by now. It was a very different kind of inspiration - the first thing I noticed was that this book was NOT written to me. It makes sense - it was written by a middle-aged man who came to realize that what he had was not what was important (hippie ;), and that this dying man had him beat in so many ways. Logically, he was writing to other middle-aged people who had passed so much of their life acquiring things, not connections with people. The message was good - don't worry about death, family and friends are what is important, et cetera - and the man who utters so many of these truths truly does sound like an outstanding person who lead a beneficial and constructive life, it just seemed also contrite in its presentation. Maybe I'm just still young and idealistic.

It just seemed funny to me, reading two potentially broadening books and having such a different view of them. Ah well, can't go wrong with too much inspiration.

hungry?

UPDATE: Whoops. If you're a teenage girl, don't read this entry. In fact, if you're a teenager, don't worry too much about your body - eat well, get some exercise, quit sitting at the computer and playing games and looking at porn, and you'll be fine.

Well, this doesn't surprise me at all. I'm not sure what it says that their over-the-counter sales haven't changed at all, but the supermarket sales have dropped drastically. We're still eating on the run? Controlling ourselves at home, but unable to once we're on the move? Whatever. Anyway, what made me laugh about this is what it says about those who were eating the donuts. Doctors, health food advocats, and COMMON SENSE have been telling us that donuts are not good for you for years now, and people have refused to quit eating their sin foods. A new 'miracle' diet comes along, and suddenly people are giving up the food that they said they never would. And it's all over - I've got friends out here who are cutting their carbs. My roommate tonight actually said the phrase, "Well, you get rid of the carbs, and you get rid of the unhealthy stuff." I'm sorry, what? Unhealthy? How can you call one of the basic food groups unhealthy?

As I've said before (yeah, this is a hot button topic with me), all that Atkins has really done is essentially stop people from eating crap (wow, what a coincidence that chips, donuts, pizza, etc. are all carbs!) Sure, carbs do contribute the highest percentage of calories to our diet. That wouldn't be a problem if we didn't sit around all day. You know, thinking about this, I suppose a shift can be expected and even appreciated - we are a more sedentary society, with low needs for those extra calories. Past societies, some with nothing but bread to subsist on, needed the filling power of carbohydrates to give them the energy to work. However, IMHO, we need make the switch to a more vegetarian diet, rather than meat. Anything that says that a pound of bacon is better than a PB&J sandwich is fucked, in my opinion.

In that sense, I found it depressing that world-wide obesity is on the rise. The biggest surprise to me is that there are now more overweight people in the world than there are hungry people. Wow. 1 in 4 overweight, 1 in 5 can't find food. How depressing is that? What does that say about us? The biggest correlation, obviously, is the developing propensity to the North American habit of eating cheap and fast.

When university student Li Guangxu was a baby, rice was rationed. Now he eats cookies for breakfast.

Shopping at a Carrefour supermarket in western Shanghai, Li fills a shopping cart with cookies, chips, soda and beer.

"I like these things. They taste great," Li said. "I don't have time for anything else. Older folks don't eat this stuff, but we do."

Worldwide, there's a growing correlation between the move-in of the fast food chains and obesity. I've heard rumours that there's a direct correlation in Thailand between McDonalds and the number of fat people in Thailand. The ability to eat and run is killing us, and it's not something you can just quit - how do you stop eating?

"I compare the propensity to eat as somewhere between the propensity to breathe and the propensity to have sex," said Stephen Bloom, chief of metabolic medicine at the University of London's Imperial College. "It's much worse than stopping smoking."

What was even more depressing was the small story opposite this one in the paper about the discovery of the youngest case of type-II diabetes to date - an obese five-year-old girl in Germany. Type-II is, in most cases, brought on by obesity.

Just to see where I am (I've been trying to lose a small spare tire for heaven knows how long), I found a BMI that actually accounts for height and gender - many don't. I'd love to say I'm immune from the body image problem, but I'm not, which was why I breathed a sigh when I found that I was about 4 kg (10 lbs) below my ideal weight, in the 28th percentile for people my height and age. Which got me to wondering - I'm thinner than 75% of the population my age? Wow. Go try it.

To conclude, will Atkins (or some other fad/miracle diet) be able to save us from this? Oooh, short answer, maybe with an if, long answer, no with a but. Seriously, it's going to take not only a diet change away from food we don't need as much (and I mean crap food much more than I mean carbohydrates in general. Stop hatin' the rice, people!), but a shift away from a lifestyle that uses/needs/utilizes the convenience granted by so many of those foods. Proper portions wouldn't hurt, either.

And here's where I crap out. Global solutions are tough, man. I've done it for myself, that's all. Well, I turned some people out here on to mango milk. That's gotta be worth something.

come on in, it's random!

• Marking today, I came across one paper that read, "When will they go fisting?" To be honesty, I could not stop laughing until long after I finished marking. And no, I have not embarked on a mission to "enlighten" the children. Well, not in that respect, anyway.
• I finally got a report in for my scooter being stolen. It was interesting talking to the foreign police man (his English was really quite good, which it should be, considering that's his job). Here in Kaohsiung, today, if you have one incident (such as a scooter stolen), it's OK, but if you have two things happen in a generally short period of time (like two or three months), the area captain gets on the local captain's ass and causes some big time shit. Three, and you're essentially done like dinner. This is why, even though I've been a victim, I still feel safe here. Although, you would think that this would encourage the police to not file things, or convince those who want to that it might not be in their best interest (this is pure speculation, BTW). Or, you know, the whole corruption thing*. There's that too.
• Also, the foreign police man said 'fuck' in front of us. It was pretty funny.
• I got a flat tire on my bike this week. Me + conveyance = a curse, a curse I tell you!
• I drink exactly at least two mango milks a day. I've also found banana milk to be quite delicious. Putting them together, however, allows the banana to drastically over-power the mango in a no-holds-barred fight for my tastebuds' love and affection. These two behemoths of tastiness can never again be set against each other, my taste (and possibly even my belief) system may never recover.
• Typically, Chinese is written top to bottom, not left to right like most languages. Taiwan has recently changed this so that all official documents now have to be written from left to right as another way to say, "We're not China."
• The recount has begun (as of Monday) on the Presidential election. It's been quite the debacle here - a judge told the opposition party to go home because their case wasn't prepared, there's been plenty of name calling, leaked early results, and 13,000 'missing' votes found. Isn't democracy fun?
• It is hot here. Like, 35 degrees plus humidity during the day. It's jumped from being the coldest year in a decade to suddenly, "Wow, this is hotter than I remember it being at this time of year for a while." Lousy Mother Nature, make up your mind.
• Only in Taiwan? The other night, I was walking back from 7-11 after purchasing some delicious fried dumplings (mmm, dumplings) when I ran into the doctor who first treated me after my first accident way back when. We chatted for a while, and he mentioned that he had a three-year-old daughter that he might be looking for a private tutor for. Whoo! Teaching a doctor's kid! Plus all three-year-olds here are cute. I have not yet seen an ugly Asian toddler.
• There are some new pictures up on the left. My brother's been having some fun, it seems. Go have a peek. Also, mine are good too. No, really. *The police station was unbelievable scummy. There was not a lot of money in there at all. Made you think. The funny comment made while the three of us (Canadians) were standing around was as follows:

  (A & J are play-arguing)
  A: You're just a big wimp.
  J: I swear, I've had enough of this place. Oh, and by this place, I mean you.
  A: You'd better be careful, they'll toss you in jail here.
  J: I don't think this place even has a cell anywhere. (I really don't think it did.) Just a room with a TV that they can throw you in.
  Me: Ah, so it's like a Canadian jail cell.

  Posted by ambiguo at 02:36 AM | Comments (0)

hey, at least you can cool your beer outside

I do miss that part of it.

Dated May 12th, 2004. (Apparently, there was a lot more the night before.)

The kids think that Canada is crazy.

yum yum

Taking a cue from Scott's entry on the food he likes in Korea, I thought I'd share a few of my personal favourites here. I've already showed you a bit of what you can get, here's some more:

1. My favourite thing ever is Scrambled Eggs and Tomatoes. This sounds pretty plain, but there's something more in there. It is absolutely TO DIE FOR. I could eat a whole plate of this and go back for more. I am eating more eggs now than I have ever had in my life (and I've always liked eggs). I must find the recipe before I go. Wait for it.... oooh! Found it! Now to test...

2. Mango milk. This will be the third time I've mentioned it on my blog, but damn, it's good. Fresh mango, milk, a little sweetener, and a bit of shaved ice. Also, like I said, banana milk gets a pretty big party going on, too. In fact, you generally can't go wrong with any kind of fresh made juice or fruit-milk combo.

3. Rose water. A friend recently introduced this to me. Cool, refreshing, you can even get it with some pulp, which I'm looking forward to trying.

4. Flavoured iced tea. I never liked ice tea back home (I was raised on Canadian iced tea mix), but here, cold tea is the way to go. My favourite (an almost-daily habit) is iced grapefruit green tea*. Wonderful stuff, I tells ya. Totally quenches your thirst after a long, hot bike ride into work.

5. Um, Thai. It is so common here that I have had delightfully wonderful Thai twice in one day and thought nothing of it. Pumpkin curry. Dishes which I have no idea of the name of. It's not like at home, where Thai was much more, well, exotic, and going out for Thai was a semi-special event (well, it was for me).

6. Hot pot. Hot pot is something different. You are given a large pot with some vegetables and a broth in it, and you get your choice of additional ingredients - you can get different meats, tofu, vegetables, and sauces. You cook the stuff up, eat it, and when you're done, wonderful soup that's been cooking the whole time! Num num num num.

7. Oh oh oh! These little mini-waffles you can find on the roadside**. They cost $2CDN for six, I think, and they can be filled with a red bean paste (which here is sweet, not spicy, as Scott mentions it is in Korea) or a delicious custard.

8. In fact, roadside food vendors in general. Sure, the meat's been sitting out all day in the heat, but they cook it. And there's tonnes of other stuff - green onion pancakes, soup, dumplings, noodles, the aforementioned waffles.... the list goes on and on. And it's all so cheap! Wonderful if you're open to it.

9. All the delicious crap my kids share with me. I'm their friend, so whatever snacks they bring, they usually give teacher some. Seaweed or chicken-flavoured chips, Pokey, candy, chocolate, etc. It's pretty good stuff.

10. 7-11 fried dumplings. You just know when someone starts telling a story that involves late-night hunger pangs and 7-11, it's going to end in dumplings. Mine always do.

I'm sure there's more, but that's enough for now. Oh, and Kinder doesn't just have Surprises out here - they also have a wafer bar, and a delicious chocolate bar.

And, as one last thing, something I've tried and probably won't ever try again: pumpkin juice. Nasty stuff, I have to say. I drank the whole bottle, but man. Harsh.

*Funny thing. Most of the teachers in the school like this, but tonight when I told one of the Taiwanese staff what it was, she just said, "Uh, yeah. Good that you like it." I've had that happen a couple of times - great for us, they can't understand. Goes both ways. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

**Er, from the roadside vendors.

the nite life

Kaohsiung at four ante meridiem is partly what you'd expect: all kinds of gas stations and corner stores (including the 7-11s, the Family Marts, the J Youngs, the Big Eggs, and other wackily-named convenience stores), internet cafes with patrons either typing madly, fracking someone across the world, or out cold, their cheek melding with the keyboard, and the bars and pubs (which mostly close when the sun rises or when the people are gone. And it's not always whichever comes first.)

Some things are similar in type, but different in content. There are various restaurants that never close (no North American fast food, though, and there is no such thing as a drive-thru here. However, we have better fast food - 24 hour teppenyaki. Mmmm mmm), Good Man Caffe (a 24 hour coffeehouse, the only such one in town), and various gambling establishments (including PACHINKO) and arcades (including DURLOP LAND) that have a remarkable number of customers, considering the time of night. Of course, there are many, many 24 hour KTV establishments, from the top of the line ones all the way down to the scummy-as-that-guy-eyeing-you-at-the-gas-station-two-nights-ago hole-in-the-walls, with clientele walking in and out at all times (before the bar, after some drinking, after the bar, in for the night, etc.).

And then, of course, the coup d'etat, the one business that makes Kaohsiung once again that little bit extra bizarre: the 24 hour eyewear store. Yes, if you live in Kaohsiung and find the need to have your eyes tested or wake up with the sun and find that you have broken your favourite frames, you have no cause to worry, as you can just head down to any store in this chain and have them nurse your vision-support back to health, no matter what the time of day. Or maybe you broke your beer goggles and need a new pair. In any case, they're there because they care.

Lastly, I'm a touch despondent, as my 24 hour fruit stand is no longer 24 hours. They now close at midnight. I have no idea what time they open, though I can tell you it's later than 4 a.m. and earlier than 8 a.m., a period of the morning which I reckon is only observable in Kaohsiung if you haven't gone to bed yet. Otherwise, it does not exist here. But yes, no more 3 a.m. pineapple runs. There's a hole in my heart the size of a pineapple.

A sweet, succulent, juicy pineapple, presliced and put in baggies.

reason #1822 why i made the right choice

Confirmation and validation comes in the oddest, most comforting ways sometimes.

I got paid thirty Canadian dollars to sit on the beach and draw circles on pieces of
paper yesterday. I was not drawing boobs, as one hilarious friend suggested, but doing student reports, and the beach is a mere fifteen minutes away. It was a heavenly marriage, that's to be sure.

Related: I saw a four year old flip an ATV - sometimes, it's hard to believe people'll let there kids do some of the things they let them do, and yet be so restrictive and protective of them from other things (i.e. real life). The kid was all right, in fact, he got right back on and kept driving after his dad righted the vehicle.

an email so good, it had to be an entry

Hey all.

I have a brief, and a little late, request of you.

As you may well know, Canada Day is fast approaching. Before we know it, it'll be upon us. Being in Taiwan, I am not in Canada, yet you probably know my Canadian pride follows me all over the world (see: Canadian, Saskatchewan, Pirate flags in my room. I'm proud of my pirate heritage! Arrrrr), and just because I'm not in Canada does not mean I won't be celebrating Canada Day in proper form (though I will be teaching, so there won't be a repeat of last year's events.)

Ah yes, the request. I have it on very good authority that you can turn the labels from bottles of Molson Canadian into tattoos using bug spray, making the beer the ultimate Canada Day celebration tool. Since there is a dearth of Canadian out here, I'm asking you, the reader, to help me out. If you have a plethora of Canadian bottles, or intend to drink a lot of Canadian in the coming, uh, soon-ness, I'd love to get some labels from you. Now, we have a small problem, so I'm going to ask you to lean in here. Canada Day is less than one month away. Combine that fact with the reality that it takes mail about two weeks to get out here, and we've got a bit of a time constraint.

So. If you'd like to help, I would be eternally grateful. I'll send you something if you send me something. I could send you back beer labels, if you wanted! Or something else cool. Or a postcard with a dead pig on it. Whatever. We'll work out the details later. I'd love every label I can get, but it's not really worth your while to send me one label - I'd feel bad, unless there was something else in the envelope. Like a cheque.* Or other Canada Day paraphernalia. So get your friends together, buy a few cases of Canadian, go on a bender, and send me the results. Um, if you could drop it in the mail by about June 15th, it should get here on time (I hope). Transcontinental mail can be a little wishy-washy at times.

As an additional incentive, I will send the person who sends me the most labels Something Pretty Cool(TM)** in return for all your effort.So go forth, beer drinkers of the world, and let your drunken buffoonery contribute to a wholly worthwhile cause!

Yours in beer and cheer,
Ryan (if you want my mailing address, drop me a line at email at ambiguo dot org)

*Please feel free to send cheques. They don't make great tattoos, but I can deal with that.

**Something pretty cool(TM) will not be a dead pig or anything squid related. Even if you want it. The post office won't let it play, and anyway, Homey don't play that.

trying for words where there are none

I'm scared.

I've seen the video. There's a lot of talking, and it is brutal. But as this guy says (though I think for opposite reasons than me), the whitewash must stop. Whether it's the beheading of an American citizen or the 1600 pictures supposedly floating around soldiers' computers. The media and the government decide what we see - do they think of us as idiots? That we can't make the decision for ourselves? (Unfortunately, I believe the answer is too much on the yes side.)

The video I first saw was on Consumption Junction, and man, was there a lot of hatred there. From both sides, which is what gets me. The hatred. It feels like it's never going to stop, just keep growing and mutating, like a cancer that we've always had that had come out of remission with a vengeance. And there's still potential for it to get worse.

And yet, there's an odd detachment, living here. It's weird, I get some news from Western news sources, and some local ones, and it's so...different. Like a reflection of the hundreds of years of introspection that the Chinese have, um, adopted (I guess), world news doesn't play as much here, and when it does, it plays without as much spin (depending on the original source). Of course, this is a somewhat lopsided judgement, as I'm only catching the English news here - maybe there's more, maybe there's even less.

A coworker commented that you get a different perspective being a foreigner in a foreign land, having the experience of being the minority, where your culture is unknown, your background strange and not understood, and frankly, being a caucasian in a non-white environment. There's a different understanding of the word 'tolerance' when you've lived on both ends of it. Well, two ends, anyway. There are those who live here and don't like it, don't want it, have a hard time dealing with the fact that they're the foreigners. But even then, they have tolerance for it (albeit a forced one) - those who really don't go home (and it happens.)

There is so much wrong with all of this. And what's worse is that there's no clear way to 'fix' it (does it need fixing? If so, we need to define 'fix', first.) Living in a fledgling democracy now, I can see the cracks in shaky supports that are holding up the government here, cracks that will only go away with time, as the builders learn the proper methods. There will be bad times (here and there), and they will not be quick (look at recent events in Chechnya). Of course, looking back home at the scandal and corruption that has become a democratically-ruled country, one sometimes has to ask - is there really a fix? And do we want to apply it?

Computers may be confusing to many, but at times, it's nice to be able to back up the important stuff and wipe everything, to start again with a clean slate and not make the same mistakes. Since we can't do that, all we can do is try not to make the same mistakes again.

We're not doing very well, are we?

first, sight

I'm reading Short Takes right now, a book that I picked up* for myself a few months back with the intention of trying to improve my writing by looking at examples by people who are much better writers than I am. It's quite a book, really well-done, well-organized with good examples and challenges to the reader. It can be, and is, used as a freshman writing textbook.

*I can't believe how much cheaper I got it out here. Just to remind you how much a 'textbook pricing' gouges the buyer, I bought it at one of the few the English book stores (the main one, Caves, which is usually quite expensive in it's own right, as it generally holds the market here), and I paid $17CDN. Amazon.com has it listed right now for $46US. Ouch.

Delving into this book was very easy to do, and one of the first essays struck me. Challenged me. It was called Mute Sense, and it was a beautifully written short essay about the sense of smell. The drawing factor was a recent discussion with a friend whose most vivid memories are associated with smells. As for myself, well, my memory can often be found wanting, which is why I take photographs. I'm not as bad as this Guy, but I have been known to forget things as they are being told to me.

So. I decided to pick up the pen, so to speak, and challenge myself to sense memories. I'd love to start with smell, because it can be, and often is, so vivid, unlocking past occurrences with the sniff of a random odour, but I can't think of one right now. So I'm going to go with the one sense that I do have right now, which is sight. Enjoy.

**************

It was a typical afternoon in early August on the prairies: quiet, hot, fun in the present, foreboding in the future. I was driving, Brad was slumped over and dozing in the seat next to me, the radio carrying on a one-sided conversation with itself, and we were done for the day. Another early Saturday morning, watching the already-risen sun push itself up off the horizon over another early roadside breakfast. Another line of ruralites cheering the collection of hulks of metal, wood, and plastic, or in the cases of the more rustic and temporary floats, styrofoam and flowers. Of course, the faces beaming back at us showed the enjoyment that we found at almost every town we had visited, from the leathery, dirt-brown smiles of the old farmers, half-shrouded in the shade of a farmer's cap, or the children running around, sun-reddened cheeks glancing up from a parent's leg when a cymbal would crash or a microphone-amplified shriek would reach down to their ears.

And, of course, another ride home. The roads of Saskatchewan never are in the best shape, and this one was no exception, to be sure. I peered down the road to see a turn in the road (maybe a correction line?), golden wheat fields extending for miles beyond. Of course, hot weather is usually an antecedent to more tumultuous conditions, and today looked like it would be no exception.

Saskatchewan adopted the license plate motto 'Land of Living Skies' for a reason - sometimes, the heavens seem like a living organism; writhing destruction and rebirth occurring before your eyes. Heading west, I could see thunderheads were building, dark blue cumulonimbus clouds folding over themselves, gently thrashing and swirling. All of a sudden, the sun cleared a cloud, and the scene in front of me became a WO Mitchell description come to life. The wheat lit up like the eyes of a child coming down on Christmas morning, an otherwise non-descript bald prairie shining like tower room at dawn after Rumplestiltskin was finished his work. The deep blue thunderhead glowered from above, the light illuminating features in the darkness before they disappeared back into the roiling midnight-blue nebula. I watched, fascinated, as it moved closer, the horizon the disinterested party forever separating the contesting wills of entrancing darkness and majestic light.

And then, as quickly as this magical revelation had appeared, before I could wake Brad to share this, the sun slipped back behind another cloud. I found myself at the curve in the road, alone except for the radio and a now-phantom spectacle carved into my mind. I followed the gentle bend, despite the inexplicable urge to just continue driving straight on through that field. To find the release, the harmony between the darkness and the light, to see them feeding each other, extending the concordant stalemate another round.

living in taiwan

A: Is that big roach on the wall?
Me: (looking) Uhhh, yup.
*pause*
N: (gets Raid, stands on couch, sprays roach) OH GOD IT'S FLYING. It's flying!! Flying!
Me: Huh? Wha?
N: Where'd it go? WHERE DID IT GO?
A: I think it's in your hair.
N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me & A: (trying to stifle laughter. Unsuccessfully)
N: You BITCH! YOU bitch!
A: Well, it really was, see?
N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA well, OK, you're right. I guess I yelped pretty good there.

P.S. There is no typhoon news Now!!

teaching to live, learning to survive

1. As I type, a deluge is falling outside. I rode through it twice tonight on my scooter. Luckily, I had an ugly raincoat, which saved from getting much wetter than I did. Alas, when it is pissing down this hard, it is tough to stay rain-free. Also, there was an earthquake on Wednesday. Lasted a good thirty seconds or so - a fair bit of building swaying. Lesson? Mother Nature sometimes likes to good-naturedly assert just who is being educated, and who the educator is, in case you (or I, I guess) forgot.

2. As you probably know, I am studying Chinese. I got into it right from the start, stopped while I was incapacitated, and have started up again with a new partner. It's great getting back into it, the vocabulary is starting to come (including the tones, which is the hardest part to get) and the structures are starting to come naturally. I can express myself decently, but still have a hard time understanding, which makes me feel stupid. I can articulate a question, get the person to understand what I am saying, but yet, when they give an answer, I might as well not have taken anything. Well almost always - I was asked tonight if I wanted rice (with my teppanyaki), and I understood exactly what he said and could reply. Sometimes, it's the small things.

3. As you may not know, I am starting to learn piano. My brother and I learned organ many, many years ago under the excellent tutelage of one Cecilia, a wonderful woman and teacher. After I finished with that, I left it at the wayside, and subsequently lost it. In high school, I learned enough to pound out vocal parts - namely, mine. I've wanted to regain that skill, but haven't had a chance. Time, you know. In a week, I've gone from not being able to play a C scale with two hands to playing a clunky My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean. Soon, audiences will be clamouring for my My Bonnie. I'm excited.

4. I'm also starting to learn some Chinese writing. Living here, you start to get used to the symbols - they don't resemble chicken scratch anymore, you can recognize symbols. Everyone can pick out the easy symbols - big, no, small, person - but frankly, I want to eat more at a restaurant than chicken rice or beef noodles or pork....noodle rice. I'm excited.

5. I have been teaching for five months now, and despite the fact that the parents are generally returning favourable reviews of me, I want to learn to be a better teacher. I'm getting the point across most of the time, but I want to get it across more solidly, and make it more fun. It is hard being a teacher sometimes. I have a lot more respect now (and I had a healthy amount before - I know how shitty kids in North America can be compared to here). I'll still make fun of their ball-throwing classes, though.

6. Things I plan on starting to learn in the next little while that don't deserve a full number: didjeridoo, not buying fried dumplings at 7-11 even though it's delicious and convenient, getting to bed before 2 a.m., how to make red bean soup and other Taiwanese/Asian delicacies, amateur psychology, better writing.

7. I forgot some of the funny ones here: the bleach-and-bucket store, which is a kind of an all-purpose, 24 hour crap store. The name comes from an Australian friend who said he came up with the name because that's what stuck with him - the fact that you could get those two items in the same place at 4 a.m. Second, road construction. Not this week, what with the aforementioned pissing rain, but last week, as I drove home, I saw a small road crew hard at work with the sun getting to rise above the horizon miles behind them. Oh, and don't forget the sex shops, which provide an interesting 'other side' to this conservative society. That, and the sex magazines you can buy on the sidewalk.

benefits

There are plenty of great reasons for learning a foreign language, I know, and I could give you a list as long as an arm, but tonight, one became crystal clear.

Knowing when they're going to shoot shit into the air.

SAAAAANNNNN

"I really enjoyed the photographer's commentary under the pictures..."

EERRRRRRRRRRR

"Yeah, you have to wonder if it's sinking in. The relative horror that these people endure as part of their daily lives..."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"I.."

KABOOOOM!

When one party knows it's coming, that one party is allowed to laugh when the other yelps. It's a rule, I think.

come and knock at our door

You know that good old belly laugh that rises up from inside you and explodes out like a middle school volcano experiment? I was reminded of it by a very good friend tonight with quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard in my time here thusfar.

Me: Yeah, I'm living with two girls now, and the first time we walked...

L: Wait! OH MY GOD! Ryan, you're Jack Tripper!

I'm pretty sure she didn't mean the fresh heavy-hitting distorto Canadian pop band, but rather the one we all know much better. I fancy myself to be more like him anyway, as I have always stessed that, well, sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't.

a question for my musical audience

I was just listening to Scott Joplin's immortal Maple Leaf Rag, and I'm stymied as to where it used to be played all the time. I believe it was on the CBC, but can't find something that sounds familiar. Does anyone remember, or have another possible explanation? It sticks in my head like something that was played on TV over and over, so that's my first thought.

Breaking any number of copyright rules (although this is in the name of research), here is the song (3.5 MB, link will remain for a week or so.)

Thanks in advance!

the rules of the road, as dictated by reality

1. Kill or be killed. We don't really mean the killing part (well, for the most part), but you get the idea.

2. It is OK to drive through a dead red light AS LONG AS YOU HONK. This lets other drivers know that you are coming. You are not an asshole for doing this, as everyone does it and so if it did make you an asshole, then everyone and their dog and three children would also be assholes. Furthermore, it is generally acceptable to do anything, as long as you honk.

3. Your side mirrors only have a limited number of uses, so please use them sparingly. In fact, if you have extra uses at the end of the year, you can sell them for fun and profit!

4. There is no word for shoulder check in Chinese, so don't bother doing them. They are unnecessary here. Also, the term for 'driving on the correct side of the road all of the time' is archaic, so we generally don't use it, either.

5. Despite what the driving manual says, it is entirely acceptable to drive while smoking, talking on your cell phone, holding a child, chatting with a passenger, have a bite to eat or a drink if you're thirsty, or any combination of these shining examples of your physical prowess, and, by extension, power as a superior being to others around you.

6. Even though there are designated scooter and vehicle lanes, these terms are used loosely. Feel free to use them interchangeably. NOTE: This also applies for four-wheeled vehicles, bicycles, and hell, even pedestrians if they really want to.

7. Ducking and weaving through traffic is expected, nay, demanded of you, especially if you are young, male, and have an itching to show off the power you estimate is between your legs.

8. All of the following have been deemed acceptable items to carry with you on your scooter: families of four, pets, keyboards, ironing boards, giant loads of laundry that are taller than you, boxes that are actually taller than you, suitcases, pieces of furniture....aw, hell, anything you can 'fit', really.

9. Police will often drive around with their lights flashing. Take no notice - this is normal. It is like they are saying hi to you! However, if sirens are blaring, you'd better get the fuck out of the way.

10. Taxi drivers are not required to be entirely lucid with their comfortability with and/or comprehension of the English language. In fact, they may listen to an entire drunken conversation on the fulfillment of the human sexual dream from last night and know what you are talking about.

11. The sun is the fountainhead that spews forth evil to rain down upon you. If any should land on your skin, you will have evil growing within you for the rest of your life, and even into your death. If you do not protect yourself from the sun using masks, helmets, jackets, gloves, and long-sleeve shirts, you will be cursed for the rest of your natural life and doomed to scrounge for spirit money after all of the good ghosts have gotten their fill at the temples in your death. Your relatives will be shamed by you and you will have no ghost friends, and all of the big ghosts will kick ghost sand in your face and take your ghost lunch money. In summary: Sun: bad. Swathed like a mummy in the heat of a fiery, hellish summer: good.

12. All signs and traffic laws are merely suggestions. Also, no matter what your understanding of Chinese is, this sign

does not mean No Chinese Allowed. Ever.

the rain in taiwan will flood your lawn

(There are no plains here.)

As we move closer to June, which I'm told is the 'rainy month' here in the land of deep-fried sugar, I have seen, in fact, more rain. Funny enough. This past weekend consisted almost entirely of rain, starting up at completely random times, dumping a bunch of water on your head, and then stopping for no apparent reason. Almost like that bully of the opposite sex in elementary school who developed a crush on you, really.

Last night really showed me what June is going to be like, I think (luckily, I will be gone for half of it). Laying in bed, I heard a constant, quiet sound. It was very white noise-ish, like someone had left the TV on and now, after the late night movie* and the station signoff, all you were left with was the static. And it was growing, like said TV had grown legs and was coming up the stairs to visit you. Having started to doze off, it took a short time for me to identify the source of the noise (it was not a walking TV). I got up, watched the storm come in and pour its life- and noise-giving drops out into the street, and then went back to bed. Real white noise is much preferrable to that fake stuff you can buy at the store.

Three hours later, I was woken up. Just so you know, I never wake up in the middle of the night. I've slept through storms before (albeit Canadian storms, I guess), people throwing things at me in my sleep, a room like a commuter train (in and out and in and out), and the like. But at 5 A.M., it sounded like that television has climbed up on my bed and was pressing itself up against me.**

Looking out, I could barely see the buildings across the courtyard. My usual view of the 'mountain' that is 15 minutes away was completely obscured by a deluge, the likes of which I hadn't seen before. This was intense. And the thunderclaps were enough to make your fillings jiggle (or so I would assume, having none myself. Suffice to say, they were loud.) I got up, marvelled at nature's strength and crass showiness, and went back to bed (as you can tell, I enjoy my sleep).

And the best thing here? After the storm, evidence disappears quickly. I mean, these are the kinds of rains that you read cause landslides over here (I'm just guesstimating here, but it looked like you could easily have a foot of rain in 15-20 minutes), but I sit here six hours after falling back asleep and the ground is dry outside. The only sign that something is different is the reserve canal outside of my building is full (I guess it is used for occasions like this). Last night, it rained while I was teaching, and I was less than excited about riding home in the rain, but two hours later - dry as a bone.

So, it'll be interesting to see all of the torrents of cats and dogs (like we need more on the street) come next month. I'm told it rains so hard that if you're on a scooter, the rain will actually bounce up and under your rain coat (a full body affair) and still soak you. Should be fun.

* A North American concept for sure, they play movies at all time of the day here.

** Um, OK, you're right, this TV comparison is getting a little creepy.

not kansas

Today, I remarked that my meal today was just comfort food. Comfort food today was mango milk (my ultimate comfort food, for those of you not playing along at home), eggplant, tomato & scrambled egg, and gung bao chicken (better known in North America as kung pao chicken) on rice.

Things change, I guess.

tastes good to me

MSG. We North Americans know it well, or at least recognize that particular sequence of letters, as it is as almost as ubiquitous on Chinese food menus as egg rolls or sweet and sour ribs. However, as every restaurant in China (and Taiwan) is a Chinese restaurant, no such claims are to be found here. Sitting around shoveling our customary rice boxes down in the lean thirty minutes between class this week, my coworkers and I began questioning what this additive was, and why it was so demonized in North America and almost requisite here.

First off, what is MSG? Monosodium glutamate is the sodium salt of glutamate. OK, now glutamate is an amino acid - the building block of proteins - found in all nature of foods - meat, cheese, certain fruits and vegetables (especially tomatoes), and more. When you add sodium, you get MSG. MSG used to be taken from seaweed, but these days it comes from starch or corn sugar or molasses from sugar cane or sugar beets. MSG doesn't have any particular flavour, but instead, is used to bring out flavour in other foods. The Japanese call it 'umami', which roughly translates to 'savoury'.

And that's about where the agreement ends. MSG has been the subject of considerable debate since it first hit the North American market in the late 1940s. It was placed on the "Generally Regarded As Safe" (GRAS) list by the FDA, where it has remained, although notes have been made on its reactionary effects in some people, and it has been reviewed periodically - see this backgrounder and this recent article, both FDA-produced. There have been numerous studies by both sides, each with their own claims, but part of the mystery that still swirls around MSG results from the deep interest of these studies - to date (as far as I can tell), there has not been any in-depth, carefully-planned, completely independent studies. Each camp claims their studies are great, and try to undercut each other.

So what's the big deal? Well, MSG has been used by Chinese chefs for quite some time. It actually started with the Japanese and migrated here (the reverse trend for most Asian cooking), and was first isolated as a compound in 1908, though it was in use for centuries* before that. When it made the trip over, Westerners found themselves sometimes reacting to it. They noticed that these 'attacks' happened after eating Chinese food; hence, the whole affection was attached to the (mis?)nomer** "Chinese Restaurant Syndrome". Thus, the demonization of MSG.

However, though the evidence against MSG is mostly anecdotal, there are a lot of anecdotes, enough that a few books and articles have been written compiling stories, citing studies, and building a case against MSG (and also other additives, such as aspartame, which I personally think is a lot worse than MSG). And there have been some studies, along with calls that the industry-sponsored studies that have come out in favour of MSG were tainted, and general attacks on industry-sponsored double-blind tests, surrounding this substance in a turmoil of complications and consternation.

The general symptoms seems to be as far-reaching as the claims made about it - headaches, vomiting, diarrhea***, faintness, shortness of breath, nausea, heart palpitations, mood changes...they run the full gamut. Allergy Dietician provides the most clinical page I've found, listing foods that contain natural glutamate, the various names that MSG can appear as on labels****, and symptoms. It should be noted that reactions caused by MSG have also been noted when people consume large amounts of coffee or tomatoes - foods known to be high in natural glutamate. MSG has also been shown to cause problems in mice's nervous system, but only when they are injected - ingested MSG does not produce the same result. Even the ingested amount varies greatly - some people become quite sick with a tiny amount, others will become ill with the amount in a normal meal containing MSG, while others will suffer adverse effects only when they ingest a large amount, the equivalent of many platefuls of MSG-infused food. Reaction time can vary too - anywhere from almost immediately to up to 48 hours later.

My opinion? I've actually quite a bit of research this week on something that innocently came up during dinner one day, and discovered a lot. I have never suffered from any problems with MSG, either at home (where it is generally no longer found) or here. I trust industry-sponsored studies about as far as I could throw them. While they're on fire. The International Food Information Council (IFIC) claims independence (and has its own views on MSG), but I've seen claims that they are generally employed by the food industry to give the appearance of independence. Who knows these days...

Realistically, this has been a cooking ingredient used by the Chinese for a long time. Chinese chefs believe that there is an unjustified prejudice against MSG in the Western world, and their complaints do have some merit in my mind. I don't agree with unfair labeling practices, and I am totally willing to admit that some people do suffer from adverse effects after ingesting MSG. I like it and I know I have had dishes here that contain it (such as my favoured tomato & scrambled eggs, in which MSG helps to bring out more of the taste of the tomato). I find myself vacillating between the two points of opinion now. If I had to conclude, I would say that I think that the intense distaste for MSG that is ingrained in us is misplaced. Yes, it does cause problems in some people, and it definitely should continue to be tested, hopefully at some point by an independent body (good luck these days with that).

If you do find yourself suffering repeatedly from any of the above effects, the best advice I've found is try an MSG-free diet for a month or two and see if the symptoms persist. The Allergy Dietician link has an excellent list of additives known to contain MSG, along with naturally-occurring glutamate sources, and the study I linked to also has sources. I hate having others making my choices for me when I am fully capable of making them on my own, though I believe the best choices are informed ones. Now you can make your own.

*I could be making this up.

** Yeah, yeah, nomer isn't a word. It is now. Here. What an age we live in. I hereby deem it the Age of Fhqwgads.

*** I wanted to add explosive to this, as that always makes me giggle, but alas, the best I could find was violent, which only makes me chuckle.

**** If MSG is 99% (or more) pure, it must appear as monosodium glutamate. Otherwise, it may appear as any of a host of potential names, which leads to the unfortunate exercise of 'hidden labeling', making it incredibly difficult for someone trying to avoid MSG to successfully do so. I definitely don't agree with this practice, but the food lobby is a strong one.

what's so unpleasant about being drunk? you ask a glass of water

They're making a movie of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Apparently, there's a lot of new stuff that Douglas Adams had wanted to include that he wrote before he died, such as John Malkovich's character, Humma Kavula. Mos Def is playing Ford Prefect.

Time for me to brush up. This makes me 793 kinds of happy.