satisfaction

There's something I always love about finishing a pen. A sense of accomplishment - I wrote that much - and a sense of renewal. So many words, feelings, ideas flowing out of a cheap piece of plastic and some ink.

Time to begin the cycle anew.

the reality of it all

I'm currently reading a book of fairy tales by Hans Christian Andersen, and I have to say, some of them have been a shock. There are a few that are somewhat moral tales (such as The Garden of Paradise or The Flying Trunk or the ever popular The Emperor's New Clothes), some that should be moral tales, but aren't (take, for example, The Tinderbox - he chops off a head and still wins the girl!), and some that seem happy, but end on a low point, really (case in point, The Brave Tin Soldier). My personal favourite has a dash of the moral, a heavy helping of good storytelling, and a heaping cup of humour (at least to me). It's named Little Claus and Big Claus.

But the reason I'm writing here is that it also contains The Little Mermaid, and I have to say, it's less, uh, happy than the Disney version. Which I also enjoyed. i won't spoil it (NOT AS HAPPY), but it made me reflect a bit on the Disneyfication. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that this is the first original tale that's been Disney-fied that I've read. It's a little sad, but it feels kinda like one of those reality checks that kinda makes sure you have the right perspective on things.

Who'da thunk it would come from a mermaid story?

IT'S NON SEQUITORIFIC!

Speaking of sugar-coating, I started reading Sugar-Free Blues tonight, somewhat inspired by my MSG explorations, and have subsequently discovered that, as was said in the comments of the aforementioned entry, Aspartame is the devil incarnate. Did you realize that Donald Rumsfeld was the CEO of Searle & Co. when they introduced Nutrasweet to the unsuspecting public? Things just get crazier every day. It's a LONG article, but well worth the read. I will definitely be staying away from artifical sweetners from now on. For a bit of a laugh, scroll down a little and read about the discovery of sucralose.

there's a bad moon on the rise

It's no surprise that it's a full moon tonight. I think my server's getting it in the back end tonight, that's why things are fishy around here. I can't do anything now, so thing's will be messed until tomorrow. My apologies.

time flies

A few short hours ago, I celebrated the six month celebration of my arrival in Taiwan. Those six months have gone by so fast, and yet, it seems like it was a lifetime ago - so much has happened to me in the time that I've been here. I can't say anything has been different from what I imagined, because I didn't even know what to imagine, save a couple of words and a few pictures from a good friend.

Taking stock of the last six months leads to some interesting memories: accident, hospital, accident, stolen scooter, flat tires, fumbled Chinese, drunken interludes, best friends, Sunday night rituals. The experiences: festivals, trips taken, teaching, encountering so many things that were completely unlike anything I had experienced before, and revelling in that rush of discovery. The places: mountain ranges, beaches, cities bigger (well, in terms of people) than any I've lived in before, and more kids than you can shake a stick at*. The people: roommates, friends, coworkers, being a minority, random friendly Taiwanese. The food. Oh my good Lord up in heaven, the food. The ideas, the history, a change in my outlook on life, learning the language. All in six months.

Today was a weird, but strangely summarizing, day to have this anniversary, like a section review in a textbook before moving on to a new, but related, subject. I did so little, yet experienced so much. I started learning the didjeridoo for my upcoming trip to Australia so that when I carve my own, I will at least be able to test it. I saw the last half of the Yann Arthus-Bertrand exhibit, solidifying my desire to be an 'observational photographer' if I ever become independently wealthy. However, in the outside chance that doesn't happened, it did also steel my resolve to try it anyway - traveling, seeing and experiencing as much as I can, and taking pictures of it all. For being here six months, I don't have nearly enough pictures. That will hopefully be fixed soon.

After getting home, I found that my roommate's friend's best friend passed away all of a sudden from menangitis. No one, not even the girl herself knew, and it reinforced the fleeting quality that life can possess, how fragile we really are, and the need to do things now, as tomorrow might not come. Shortly after, a close friend confided more shocking news to me, illuminating to me the fact that the only person you can really know in life is yourself.

All of these things came together, I believe, to help demonstrate to me why I came here. Life has its surprises, its ups and its downs, and you have to roll with the punches, or the punches will put you down. I'm still glad with the direction my life has taken, the choices that I have made for myself, and the ideas and challenges that I have put forth for myself in the future. I've discovered something that I truly enjoy and am competent at, and while I know that I will not do it for the rest of my life, that feeling right now is about the best that I can think of.

As I whittled the last hours of the day journaling and reading more fairy tales in a cafe, I came upon a quote which put into words my feelings after my reflections on the day and on the past six months. In the tale "The Darning Needle", the needle says to itself, "When one is something, one always becomes something." Though it is said out of arrogance in the story, it has the affectation of truth about it. If there is one solid, core belief that I have always carried with me, it is that I am NOT nothing, that I am something, someone who will make a difference, somehow. And so, I keep on going, knowing that i will continue to be something as long as I keep up the belief that I am something, for as soon as you stop believing in yourself, then you are exactly what you believe in - nothing.

Here's to another eventful, fun, and interesting six months. Jia you!

*And I can shake a stickat a lot of kids. My stick-shaking-to-kid ratio is among the top in the country, I'll have you know. Er, maybe rate instead of ratio would be better. I'm never sure of that measurement, I just do the shaking.

no tears from me

So Reagan died. And the views are up, the praising, the not-so-flattering (also, here), and the, um, bizarre. I'm going to ignore the old credo and say what I want, nice or not.

To be honest, if someone asked me to name something good the man did, I could not. I asked my friend, a history major, to tell me what he did do that was good. "He improved health care," was her response. "Really? How?" I asked. "Uh, I dunno." Yeah. Exactly. (In her defence, she didn't like the guy either.) Maybe it's because I've read more 'liberal' views on him, including an admitted Anti-Reaganite, but the fact remains that they are the facts, and in politics, facts often don't matter.

Honestly, I find this CBC summary to be the best I've read- it's not mean, it's not nice, it just seems to be reporting the facts, ma'am.

I was just a lad when Reagan was in office. I never knew him, never knew Star Wars, never knew the Evil Empire, never knew about Iran contras or Hussein or anything like that, so all of my impressions have been garnered through reading. If I'm off base on anything, feel free to correct me.

So many problems can be traced today to actions taken while the man was president. Mad cow disease and the increase of food poisoning? Well, that's because in the US, the Department of Health isn't allowed to do surprise inspections on meat facilities - they must call ahead and warn the facility. And if there is an outbreak of any kind, the same department cannot name the producer supplying the meat. They can't even name any stores selling the meat - the best they can do is tell a city that there is tainted meat in the community. Somewhere. Wow, that'd make me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

And the mass media is another 'benefit' of his policies, breaking down the walls that kept a number of separate, independent voices in the media circle. Now we're down to, what, six, when there were dozens two decades ago?

One can go on and on. In fairness, I do want to include some of the points said about him from supporters. One account said he was the last 'great' president, the one who stood for something. That a decisive (one can read: closed) mind was good for a president: wishy-washiness never got anything done. While I totally agree that a leader needs to be able to make decisions, a good leader listens to those s/he is leading and does not follow their own mental train without inputs. One interpretation of his decision style was as follows: "If his aides informed him that the facts went in the other direction, Reagan’s basic attitude was: 'OK, get me new facts.'" This is NOT a good way to govern. I'm sorry. There's stubbornness, there's admirable determination, there's pig-headedness, and then there's outright stupidity. The current administration seems to think along the same manner. It may not even catch up with them, but someone will pay for it (probably the people who really have no idea what's going on, regardless of whether they voted for said leaders, both then and now.)

I will admit that, like Trudeau, Nixon was one of the last of the 'old guard' of politicians in North America: unafraid/uncaring about what the press said about them. They said what they wanted, press and public be damned, did what they wanted, and retired and died to words of praise from friends and enemies alike (in general). Good? It's all in your perception. Politicians now are a different kind of leader - they listen to the people, but only in opinion polls.

The praising voices say that the deficit and military spending brought forth the economic boom of the 90s, that Bush and Clinton didn't do anything. The thing about economics is that it's so soft that it's hard to conclude - certainly, Clinton didn't do much except the usual in party change: do what one can to undo what the previous administration did, except what seems to be working, try a few things, take credit for anything good, and blame the last administration when something goes wrong (not just Clinton - that's politics). However, the justification that "...huge defence savings from the end of the Cold War contributed to making the dreaded deficits disappear," loses a bit of credibility when it is noted that Nixon himself plunged the country into unprecedented debt on military spending. Reminds me of a Bart Simpson quote: "And I'll take up smoking and give that up."

So. Although he did in all likelihood speed up the demise of the USSR and may have done a couple of other good things, I cannot shed a single tear for the death of a man who reduced the quality of life for so many who were powerless to fight back. All I can say is good-bye.

filler

1. Happy Birthday Mom! My mom has the most rocking attitude towards birthdays I've ever heard, though it's only an option to a select group of people. You see, she's one of a pair of twins, so her supposed birthday is actually 100% too much, as she's sharing that age with her twin. Can't beat that with a stick!

2. My illusions of my bike being the safest method of transportation was shattered tonight. On my way home from my new cafe*, I saw an ambulance picking up a guy lying on the street beside his bike. Not sure if a car or scooter hit him, but he definitely did not just fall off. Now I'm reduced to legs, bus, and taxi being the safest, and only one of those is mine/free. Well, in all fairness, I wear a helmet and have lights, of which he had neither.

*The girls there recognized me on my second visit. I don't think they get a lot of foreigners. And tonight I stood and chatted with one of them for a while trading English and Chinese - another point for that money I've spent in classes! Her English was better than my Chinese, though she had studied for longer than I have.

3. I started studying Chinese writing tonight, and while it is HARD and my characters SUCK it's really EXCITING and I can't wait until I can write neat things. It's one thing to speak a new language (which is still an amazing growing and educating experience), it's honestly a totally different story learning a completely new way of writing.

4. Nigritude Ultramarine, because an intelligent individual will always have more sway than spammers and corporations in my world.

5. This weekend was one of the most emotionally exhaustive in recent life. However, I got to have brunch and beer at 4:30 in the afternoon! That's pretty much my definition of damn cool, in all actuality.

searching for an answer

This being the Internet and the age where you can find ANYTHING on the interweb, a lot of people hit my site by looking for jokes. Since I'm busy packing and studying this week, I'm going to impress upon you a list of the searches in the past two weeks. Some of these subjects aren't what I'd be looking for in jokes, but hey, it takes all kinds. I'm ranked fairly low for the following (i.e. not top ten):

pineapple jokes, assaulting jokes, jokes consumerism, half chinese and half jewish jokes, mango jokes, Saskatchewan jokes, "Douglas Adams" jokes understanding (I'm sorry you came here looking for that), karaoke jokes, fireworks jokes, goodbye to coworkers jokes, validation jokes, middle school jokes, jet lag jokes, inspiring jokes, scooter jokes, jokes on roommates, jokes for banquet, jokes about batman, pee jokes, thai jokes, liar jokes, small person jokes, jokes on the heart, Boston jokes, anti-Republican jokes, jokes to remember when starting a project, jokes about volunteers, salt rimmed jokes, jokes advocates, "hot weather" jokes, storm jokes, jokes high school soap opera, paul martin jokes, metrosexual jokes, JOKES ABOUT BEING IN JAIL, July Jokes, classic joke punchlines

Some have been more successful. jokes about arrogant male stupid coworkers? #2. History major jokes? #4. Jokes on canadarm? #1, although, how often does that come up? Often enough for someone to necessitate a google search, I guess. And you can't go wrong with the Canadarm Death Ray!

And then, of course, the odd balls. Someone found me by looking for 'ryan bird beheading', another by 'marijuana shirts tnt & ups international', and (possibly my favourite result), I am #4 for 'half man half bird', although someone looking for 'stereotypical pictures of convicts' was also entertained at one point.

The Internet, it seems, would also fit under the banner of my personal creedo for Taiwan: You Just Never Know.

and he didn't even know

I was accosted tonight by a walking pyramid scheme, in the form of one of my student's parents.

It amazes me that people still go for these things. Actually, I have no idea of the prevalence of them here in SE Asia, but they're a fairly easy idea, so I'd say they're a world kind of cancer, rather than a particular society or area off the planet. Rob has a illustrated explanation of pyramid schemes for you. My 'upline' promoter here even drew it out for me. Of course, it looked exactly like that. Now, this guy is a Pharmacist (or something like that) - not just a guy looking for a get-rich-quick idea (or maybe he is? I dunno.) But he used terms like 'world-wide possibilities' and 'internet marketing' and 'you can tell your friends'! It was all I could do not to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, yelling, "SHUT UP THIS IS A HORRIBLE IDEA YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO USE $60USD A MONTH OF FACIAL CREAMS AND VITAMINS."

But hey it's his life. Meanwhile, do I have a deal for you. See, I've got these pyramids, and a brilliant scheme. All you have to do is...

this is worth mourning

Ray Charles has died. Now that's a death I will spill tears over. I felt more for this guy than I will ever feel for Ronny (the url even has 'ronny' in the title. Phhbt.)

Also, for your reading pleasure, America: Trying to be more like Yugoslavia every day. Via Cardhouse.

...and the people feasted, and lo, they were hopped up

Well, I've finally secured myself one of them new fancy Gmail accounts, thus rendering me into insufferably snobbish geek elite (I was feeling a little left out for a while).

My regular email at this domain will still work, but you can also get ahold of me now at theblackazar[monkey]gmail[period]com.

See you in Australia! I'll try and post when I can. And am reasonably coherent. I make no guarantees, though. Hell, my brother sent me an email after nine hours of drinking tonight, if that gives you any idea of what kind of a vacation it'll be.

it's official

I hate being cold.

I was thrown out of a bar the first night here (though only a little bit, my brother got the real red carpet throwing out), I'm half-done my didg, and I've realized that I really don't like being cold. It's the winter solstice in four days, and I now realize that I want to be warm for the rest of my life.

Five days, 1200 km, 325 pictures, one blister (on my hand), 6.7 metric tonnes of fun. And counting.

And no, Gmail does not make me feel creeped out. My life is nothing special, and I tend to ignore the advertising on a page, whether it's tailored or not.

i'm baaaaaack

2700+ km, 1149 pictures and videos, 4 sunsets, 1 sunrise, a score of great people, too many diary pages of facts and experiences, a tonne of stories, and one pair of stolen shoes.

I'd give you more, but a jackhammer woke me up waaaay too early this morning, and despite the fact that I've consumed more caffeine today than in any other day in my entire life, I'm dead tired. The stories will start tomorrow. G'night, mate.

he ain't heavy, he's my brother

This was the last picture I took inside of Australian borders, and, funny enough, it is also the only picture of my brother and I together* on either of our cameras.

This trip was our second completely independent visit together (i.e. not a family event - we've gotten drunk at our fair share of weddings together, though, believe me) - he came and visited me shortly after I moved to Ottawa, before I started working in a warehouse, after I had been ruthlessly teased and screwed by the government, and while an entire team of Ultimate players stayed at my place. Have you ever had 18 people in your small house? I have.

We had a good time together, lazing around, seeing some of Ottawa, having a few drinks, running into poles (oh, wait, that was me), seeing Tool (oh, wait, that was him. I was busy running into poles. Really.), and so on. Our relationship really opened up last summer with an exchange of emails back and forth. Suffice to say, it made me feel like I had not only a brother, but a new best friend.

Which is why I went to Australia, and was excited. Well, I was, and I wasn't. It wasn't that I wasn't excited to go, I just found before I left that I didn't feel like I needed a vacation. Getting off the plane was wonderful, however - I hadn't seen Chad since last summer.

We spent a lot of time talking about everything under the sun (we did do a lot of driving after all) - old stories, friends, family, drugs, girls, travel, the future. We had debates, we talked about music, about the people we met, about what we wanted to do on this trip. We discussed reactions to our actions at home, about the effect that going international had on us, the Saskatchewan Roughriders (oh, those poor Riders), and so much more. We even mined vast deposits of silence at times - we were together a lot, after all. I discovered a lot about my little brother (yes, despite the picture and all appearances, we are brothers, and I am older, despite what many people meeting us seemed to think.. No, neither of us is adopted, though we did play that joke on a number of people, which was always good for a laugh. Well, for us.), and there's plenty there for me to be proud of. I experienced a realization that I've only had once before in my life. It last occurred when I met someone who was at the same place in life, and who had arrived there by a completely different path than me. I felt that same way on this trip.

My brother has grown into quite the young man, one that a parent of brother can easily be proud of (well, I can only speak on the brother part, but I don't think my parents are that ashamed of him. Even if he is adopted.) He has girls tripping over themselves to give him their phone number, he's an international man of mystery, having been on three continents himself, he's receiving a very different education than I did, one that I envy in some ways, and he's still got a plan, which puts him ahead of 95% of the people who leave home to 'find themselves' and 'think about things' (especially people I know here, who sometimes leave more confused than when they arrived). He was the one who reassured me when I found that I wasn't going to be able to do everything I wanted (Lana said three weeks wasn't enough. I heartily agree, having been there only two. Hell, I met people who said a year wasn't enough) by telling me that I had done more in a week than some people did in weeks or even months there. He was the reason I chose to go to Australia, and he is the reason I'm glad I did. Even despite all the pretty girls around Australia. And there was a few, let me tell you.

Cheers to you, Chad.

*The Australian girl I sat beside on the plane and played backgammon in the Taipei airport with said that he looks Australian, while I definitely look Canadian. What's that supposed to mean? He looks cool and relaxed, I look geeky and uptight and concerned about my health care? Is that Canadian? Hrm.

a done deal, and a deal to be done

So. A minority, you say. It's what the pundits had been predicting for the last three weeks, and the talking heads got their wish.

This bodes for an interesting political situation over the next few years. The CBC has an excellent summary of what it all means. The number one point: all that is certain is more uncertainty.

With the left-leaning Bloc and NDP holding the power now, the direction the country looks in could go a variety of ways. Both parties have wish lists as long as your arm, and they know what they can do to the government - the Saskatchewan Liberals did get some pretty sweet deals in the last last election in whenever it was, especially since they only got two seats. However, like said Liberals, whichever party gets chummy with the national Liberals had better watch that they don't alienate their electorate. Voters have memories like elephants when they feel unrepresented by their representatives.

Despite this, however, as the article states, the uncertainty will be tainted with some certainty - no one really wants to see this house of cards fall right now. Voters are tired by scandals and sensationalism, parties' coffers are running dry, no one wants to put forth a weak face by calling into question their leader, and so on.

And so, living far, far away from this, I can only observe what happens next. I believe I will (eventually) return to a Canada that is quite different than the one that I left. Paul Martin makes no bones about being much more interesting in impressing the United States, while Chretien couldn't give a fig. The NDP and Bloc may damper that. Some legislation that many thought dead may make a return, while other current ideas may go the way of the dodo. I think that this is also the time for the people. A minority government is always the kind most vulnerable to the slightest change in the public wind (well, even more than regular, majority governments governing by polls these days), giving the public, if they choose, the chance to really affect where they will go over the next few years. Here's hoping they use it for the good of us all.

Oh, yeah, one more thing. Any bets on whether Martin's promise of more open votes will come up any more? Think he'll honour it? By the way, I've got this bridge in Brooklyn, if you're interested...

filling a metaphorical hole

Flying down a hill through a rainstorm with a didjeridoo on a bike whose brakes suck in the best of conditions. Just enough control not to lose everything, having something beautiful with me the whole time, not sure why I'm doing what I'm doing. Hopeful that the end will justify the means, cursing a blue streak, and enjoying the whole thing.

Yup, that about feels about right for my feeling of control over my life the last seven years. Hey, it was a warm rain.

hi, my name is ryan, and i'm a canadian geek

The Onion has an article that mentions Saskatchewan (yes, it's from last week, but I was abroad. Sue me.)

People from Saskatchewan (and maybe throughout Canada, I can't say) are always elated when their home province is mentioned in popular media. I can remember one episode of The Drew Carey Show where they mentioned Oswald's cousin was from Moose Jaw (I think that was it). Or the Simpsons' mentions of the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Unfortunately, the episode capsules haven't deemed them important enough to be noted.

So imagine my surprise and excitement when I found out that my home province is in the process of holding primaries to re-evaluate last year's gubernatorial election in California.

God Bless Canada.

P.S. To shore up the geek vote, someone was thinking of me when they posted this grammar game. I actually cheered and clapped while it was loading.